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How to Handle an Unhappy Guest


The day you’ve been dreaming about is finally here.  Your ceremony was perfect, your venue looks amazing, the food is delicious… and you have an unhappy guest.  Eek!  Whether it’s a picky eater, someone who tried to bring an uninvited guest, or someone who demands the DJ play a song off your “DO NOT PLAY” list, it’s quite possible you may end up with some drama.  There’s no way to avoid it completely, but here’s some tips to mitigate it:

  • If you think there may be a picky eater on your guest list, do your best to ask them ahead of time if they will need a special menu. If it’s a religious diet, an allergy, vegetarian, or vegan, make allowances for their meal.  And be sure to offer some choices for them at the cocktail hour as well.
  • Be specific in your invitation wording to avoid unwanted or uninvited guests. Addressing the invitation to “The Smith Family” implies ALL Smiths at that address are invited, including the children.  Sending separate invitations to each member, with or without an “and guest” inclusion will help limit confusion.
  • If there is someone who has made negative comments in the months from your engagement to your wedding day… don’t invite them! It’s OK to put yourself first on this day.
  • If you have a wedding planner, be sure to tell them about any assumed or potential problems before your wedding. They’ll be on the lookout for any unhappy guests and should try to intercept any problems before they reach you.

Most importantly, try to remember that while this is likely the biggest day of your life so far, it is still only ONE day in the rest of your marriage.  Take a deep breath, try to laugh, and look at your new spouse.  You’ll get through it together.


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